Back to Basics

I kind of hate myself for abandoning my blog, yet again. Half of 2013 has passed since my last entry so we have a lot of catching up to do. Or not. I don't know but the first half of the year felt like nothing special, save for the Boracay trip and my 22nd birthday. Maybe I'm just looking at this the wrong way and the little things may have been the highlights of my 2013. But whatever, I really can't summon those memories right now. 

I guess I created this blog entry due to the fact that I'm (suprise, surprise) confused for the nth time. I just turned 22. Taking a step back and viewing my life in a nutshell, I really can't say I'm pleased. Honestly, this was not how I envisioned myself when I graduated. I don't know what happened to that girl who was full of hope and dreams when she stepped out of the PICC hall after getting her college diploma. Now, it seems like I was replaced by a robotic version. Mechanically going about my daily routine, not caring what I did or what I'm going to do.

When the clock struck 12 last June 26, I was overwhelmed with a lot of emotions. 22. Wow. It seemed like adulthood was catching up with me fast. My mind instantly replayed what happened during my 21st and I couldn't help but feel sad. Blessings? Too many to count. Accomplishments? Nothing much :( Being someone who built her confidence around tangible accomplishments, my sorry ego took a rather bad beating. I'm a far cry from the version of myself that I wanted to be. 

I'm tired of pep talks. I'm tired of convincing myself that something's going to change and tomorrow when I wake up, I'll feel different. I'm tired of the inspirational quotes, the psychobabble, the mind games. I just want to turn my mind off for a period of time and start over again. Back to basics. Back to the version of myself when I started out in grade school. Not act childish, mind you. But take everything one day at a time and cross the bridge when I get there. Take things slow and steady.

Lying on my bed and listening to the strains of Taylor Swift's "22", I took a deep calming breath and told myself that everything's going to be alright, I'M going to be alright. 

So, 2nd half of 2013, what do you have in store for me?