The title of this blog entry leaves much to be desired. Then again, at this late hour, my thoughts are given free rein to make me feel nostalgic, longing even. For what or whom, I don't know.
For the past 10 minutes, I've been staring at a picture. Whoever said that a picture paints a thousand words (or something along those lines), must have been a photographer or someone who really fancied being one. I can't really make myself agree. The candid pose, the half-smile, the unassuming glint of the eye, all it tells me is that the person looks pretty contented. That's about it. My novice observation aside, I can't really tell what goes in a person's mind by simply looking at a picture. I can come up with a few extra ideas if I observe a person's body language, being the hypersensitive being that I am, but again that's about it. No one is an open book. Everybody's shut tight and the only way they can let me in is if I initiate a conversation.
No one likes a pity party, no one likes an obnoxious victor but most of all, no one likes to be a lone success. Being gung-ho for achievement, I must say that all the achievement in the world does not matter if it is not recognized. If people say otherwise, its either they're lying or they're deluded.
What if. What if all the things I've been constantly worrying about catch up with me? What if I had nothing to be afraid of in the first place and I wasted all this time psyching myself out? What if I never get this chance again? What if I embarrass myself and risk losing a precious thing? Or what if the risk was worth it and the paid off? What if?
I'm not making sense am I? I guess my cohesive thoughts took a break and won't be coming back anytime tonight. Or was it the milk tea? I think being drunk on tea and sugar does something to my brain. Might have something to do with the late hour too. Alas, sleep. You forever elude me.
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