Leaving 25 Behind

A little over 5 minutes left before I turn 26 *cue birthday playlist*

My 25th year in this Earth brought about the toughest challenges I have yet to face in life. I took a leap of faith and flailed for a long time. I pretty much spent this year hoping and praying and crying but in the end, I landed on my feet.

Regardless of the challenges, I felt like I grew stronger and wiser over the last 12 months. I did not know how things would turn out and I had a lot of why-did-I-do-this-again moments but I'd like to think those moments made me feel more appreciative of what I have right now.

A lot of priceless moments also highlighted my 25th year - things that I didn't know I had the courage to actually go through because I was scared and anxious. But hey, if you don't jump with your eyes fully closed then you'd forever wonder what if, right? 

25 taught me that life moves forward whether you've caught on or not. And no, I'm not exactly invincible. I will fumble and fail miserably for a while but (cliche as it may sound) I'll be okay.

For my 26th, I wish for good health and safety (for me and my loved ones), a kick-ass year at work and the courage to boldly face whatever life throws at me. I acknowledge that life won't always be rainbows and flowers - I guess I'll just have to take it one day, one problem at a time.

A heaping serving of love, success, happiness and purpose, please 😊

Thoughts

I was never good with change. I used to feel anxious and panicky every single time I had to do something different or deal with a whole new set of people (I still do). I like my comfort. I like my routine. I like predictability. I kept telling myself whenever I settled into a cushy routine: "I wish this would last forever, these would be my constant for the rest of my life". 

Boy, was I really naive.

Circumstances changed. We did some growing up and explored different paths. People changed. My close-knit group of friends whom I used to talk to every single day were busy and I had to put in a lot of effort to keep in touch (even though this was not reciprocated - but hey, I didn't mind). Plans fell through and I learned that 99.9% of the time, I would get frustrated that people would bail out or worse, don't reply at all. Dealing with new people with their whole new different set of attitudes was draining. But, as all human beings do, I adapted. 

I guess I wanted to write this down because I felt like I'm constantly being slapped by reality. Your best friends don't stay your best friends for the rest of your life. You might like doing something now but who knows what you will want in 3 years? Problems evolve but so do you. Dealing with people can be exhausting - often times this takes the biggest effort.

Change is inevitable, they say. I feel like a huge part of me is still figuring things out and I'm unable to cope with unpleasant things. But I guess I will adapt. I always do.